Leadership -

~Congratulations!! You have been nominated to take part in the International Scholar Laureate Program (ISLP) Student Delegation on Diplomacy and International Relations in China this coming June 2012.~

Today, in the mail, I got a letter from International Scholar Laureate inviting me to attend the college version of NYLF (National Youth Leadership Forum) that I was nominated for in high school.

This is the 3rd invitation I have received since high school; first from NYLF, then the Global version (which I didnt attend), and now the International/college version. The fact that less than 1% of students get the opportunity to attend these educational vacations, just fills me up with such happiness and a little lot of pride in myself. To be nominated for the first one (cause the second one comes just because you went to the first one) a teacher has to think so highly of you that you were his/her vote. I never found out which teacher it was that got me into these programs, but I am forever grateful to whoever it was.

name tag from NYLF

These educational vacations are ones that you take alone and are able to go out into the world and learn and experience how to become a world-class leader in life. When I went as a sophmore in highschool, I was scared and shy while waiting in the airport lobby with all my peers. By the end of that week, I had life long friends and a greater love and understanding of our (the US) government and where we came from.

Taking this trip to China would mean that I'm not going to be able to travel and visit family like I was planning, but it would do wonders for my brain and resume. All in all, I am super excited for even the opportunity to make a choice to go or not.

-how was meeting my nerdy side??-

I Still Miss You...

Tonight I spent with Mother Dearest (Paige) and my best friend Marnie. Paige had told me about hers and Marns plans to head up to the Park City outlets to shop when I was dropping off some flowers for her. Then later tonight I got a call from Marnie, who invited me to join the two of them on this fun extravaganza. These two women are two of the most important people in my life. Every time I am with them I feel a sense of security and I feel safe. Another thing I love when being around them, is Madison is ALWAYS with them, so I feel her around too.

Madison died a year and a month ago on Oct. 7th of 2010. I only had known her for a year and a half, but she was always fun to be around; she was always making me laugh and smile. When she was hit, I was in the ER. I heard the entire call between the paramedic and the head nurse that morning. Even though she didnt end up coming to the hospital I was interning at, finding out that that call was about my best friend's little sister who had later died, surely left a mark. Needless to say, the "what if"s caught up to me and just made things worse. I found a song a while ago that really just explains what I went and still kinda go through; I Still Miss You by Keith Anderson.

I've talked to friends

talked to myself

I've talked to God

I've prayed like Hell

but I still miss you.

I've tried sober

I've tried drinkin'

I've been strong

and I've been weak

and I still miss you.

I've done everthing to move on like I'm supposed to

but I still miss you.

I really have tried all of it, and the pain never goes away. Marnie and Paige are both individuals that I look up to with everything I have. I love them SO much and I dont even think they realize it. They make such the difference in my life, and probably even have the most influence on me too. They are so strong even when everyone would understand if they broke down. They're perfect in my eyes.

Love you Marnie-kins. Love you Mother Dearest. Love you Maddie babe. Today was a great day spent with the three of you. Thanks for letting me share it with you. <3

The 3 PERFECT moments

In my life, I can think of three seperate memories, that involve men, that were the most perfect moments.

one.

Back in the 10th grade, I was nominated to attend National Youth Leadership Forum in Washington DC. It was just me; there was no family, nor any friends going with me. So when I got there I knew that I had to make friends. The main boys(you know, since I dont get along with girls as easy lol) that I hung out with were Eric, Chris, and Justin. Eric was the most flirtatious, but not exactly my type. Chris was the one I was interested in; he was super cute, plays the bass in a band and was given a scholarship to some art school for that talent. And lastely, Justin was the super attractive but super player kind of guy we all know. 

Now that you know the background story, I can tell you the perfect moment with Justin.

The last couple days of the trip, I got sick (didnt know til I got home, that is was H1N1). On the plane ride back, me and Justin realized we had the same flight, so we asked the lady sitting next to me to trade him seats; which she did, and that was super nice of her. It was set to be a super long flight, and Justin told me if that if I got tired, I could lean on him and sleep. So halfway thru the flight, I took advantage of that offer and laid in his lap. Half asleep and super sick, I just sat there in silence. Justin being the hot guy that I didnt think I would ever have, put one hand on my hip and one "caressing" my head. He ended up getting sick too with swine the next day, but he told me it was worth every cough, sneeze, and runny nose. Maybe this was perfect cause I didnt feel alone like I did going there. Maybe it was perfect cause I was sick. Anyway you put it tho, it was P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

two.

About a year and a half ago, me, my parents, and tyler all went on a road trip to florida to jump on a cruise ship. They had a "club" for teens called the O2 club. There was a meet and greet that me and tyler had missed on the very first day during the afternoon. When we went the first night, no one was dancing, but everyone seemed to know eachother.. So I felt pretty stupid. But Travis Martin came about and just kinda welcomed me and Ty to the crew. After a week of dancing and swimming and all that jazz you do on the cruise, we knew everyone, and we all got along great. The very last night around 1:30AM I went to my room to sleep cause we were getting up at 6 to leave. Around 2AM tho, EVERYONE (except for my own brother and a couple girls haha) showed up to my room. We all talked and said our goodbyes except for Kyleigh Sikora (my best friend on the cruise) and Matt (the sexy guy from england with the sexy english accent). Kyleigh was laying in Tylers bed and Matt and me in mine. We all three talked til about 4AM when Ky went back to her room. Me and England fell asleep on my bed with his arm wrapped around my hip. We woke up at five and he went to his room. There was no kiss, no sex, no anything; which could have been the reason it was so PERFECT, because it was straight up spooning.

Three.

My junior prom was with a guy that I look back now that realize how in love I really was with him. His name is Taz Wilcock. He was 21 and only going to prom cause his sister was my best friend at the time and conviced him to take me (we had been dating before this, but ya know. what 21 year old wants to go to prom??) So we get all dressed and go to dinner. In the beginning I was kinda acting like we were just friends, but he assured me that he was going to act as if we were the most in love couple in the world. After dinner we went to take pictures. When we took them I told Taz that I didnt want one of the suggested pictures they have hanging, so we made our own. After the picture was taken, we were walking back to our friends when he swooped me up in front of all our friends and strangers and spun me around, kissed me on my forehead and put me back down so we could do the group pictures. Later that night, we didnt actually make it to prom, instead we went to our friends concert in Provo. We danced our hearts out there. When we left we all decided to hit up the water towers and look at the view. Me and Taz were the only ones to get out of the car and sit on the bench. We just sat there and cuddled talking about life. Around 1AM we dicided to get back in the car, but before I stood up, I just sat there and looked at him... and that is when he leaned in and kissed me. This whole night will always be on my tops list of favorite memories.

If all I had were these memories, I think I would still get by with a smile on my face at all times. Im just lucky that my life is FULL of fun times to remember!

The Steak is OVER!!!

Wow. I would like to start off by apologizing for being a complete blog-loser... its been almost a whole month since I last blogged!!! SO SORRY!!

I have been super busy these days; not just busy with school, but also with "sprung upon" trips to Portland, and playing with cousins, work, and even dating... Yup. I have recently jumped back into the dating game.

As many of you know, I have been on strike again kissing since the end of May. What many of you dont know, though, is why. Well after three "heartbreaks" within just the senior year, and multiple, MULTIPLE different (this may seem shallow, but its not as bad as it sounds) "one night stands" (no sex. just make outs), I decided to test how long I could go without kissing anyone. To make the challenge easier, I basically took myself out of the dating equation.

Recently, though, I have been feeling "lonely" when it comes to watching romantic comedies and all my friends ditch me to go on dates. Not to mention, my very best friend now lives in NY, and other best friends are mostly scattered about the state. So, with some advice from my brother and some other helpful homies, I decided that ~6 months of "sobriety" from kissing was enough, and opened up my eyes to the dating world again.

About a week before the Portland trip, I went with my dad to get our oil changed.
"Left or Right," he asked.
"I dont care, dad," was my response.
The next thing I knew, he was making a right hand turn towards the Jiffy Lube in lindon.

When we arrive, I jump out of the car, look to my left and see this GORGEOUS smile being flashed my way from one of the workers. Thinking he was just being a good employee, I gave a little smile back, turned my head and walked into the waiting area. Helping my dad look at pens online for his business, I barely glance up to the door opening in front of me. There walks in "gorgous smile" boy. I look back down, but quickly look back up at him to notice the BLUEST eyes I have ever seen looking at me and smiling again. I again, smile back.

After realizing that I had been being stared at by such a handsome man, I look at his hand (you know, for any certain ring). BAM!!!! no ring on that left finger.... but wait, thats a wedding band on his right hand ring finger...?

I decide after the cars were finishing up, that I would ask about this mistery ring. So as my dad is paying for the bill, I walk out and start chatting at (look at his name tag) Devere (but lets be honest, we call him "Jiff" or "Jiffy Lube"). We talk about why he is wearing a boot, and what kind of car we both drive. He opens my dads door and close it behind him.

"Are you not getting in??" He asks.
"Nah, my truck is in the shop, so I brought in the SUV over there."

As I start walking over, he walks with me. He opens my door, and I blurt out about the ring. He tells me it was a joke about moving back to Utah, and given to him by 6 grown men. Then I took a deep breath and said...

"Hey, would you ever want to get together?? Do something fun??"
"I was hoping you would ask. We arent allowed to openly flirt here at work"

I gave him my number and three dates later, we were sitting on his couch in his basement. He was trying to teach me guitar, but when I gave up, he just started playing and singing his own songs. Should me a picture of him in his cowboy hat, and I had found my perfect man.

Sorry its flipped



Later, he walks me out to my truck and asked me, "So you still havent found out about the 'are you sure im worth breaking your streak' question, huh??"

Quickly, I responded with, "not a clue."

"I just have a past is all"

"I dont care who you used to be; I mean, youre obviously a different guy now"

"True..."

"So, I'll take my chances" I say, adding a wink.

a small silence enters.

"Well," I started to make sure it didnt have a chance to get awkward, "when you decide you are worth it, you can make your move."

And then, like a prince saving his princess from the castle, he leaned in and said, "I never said I'm not worth it." and kissed me.

So, now you have the story of the evil spell being broken. We shall see where this takes us. :)

Kousin Kim -

I have been putting this off for a little bit now, trying to think of the perfect things to say... but after the day I had yesterday, seems apporpriate to put it out there now.

My cousin Kimber has always been a role model to me, even when she maybe shouldnt have ;) point is tho, she was always someone I looked up to. A lot of firsts, I shared with her...

First time I ever jumped into the provo river and went down the "rainbow slide"

First time I ever held a snake

First time I ever snuck out

First time I ever went toilet papering

First time I ever played Mexican Boarder Patrol

First time I ever "hearted" someone's yard

First time I ever chased a herd of cows

First time I ever got chased by a herd of cows

First time I ever tried out for modeling

First time I ever ran thru a clothing store and picked out clothes for OTHER people to try on

First time I ever waited in line so early in the morning for a sale at a clothing store

First time I ever ran up and down a parking lot to see how fast I could run

First time I played phase 10

She was also there...

The first time I ever had a neice

The first time I ever bullied Kami(im sure of it)

The first time I ever hid up stairs and forced someone else to see if that door was the right apartment

The first time I had a best friend turn her back on me and just walk away

The first time I ever played Gestures



Kim was there the day my best friend lost her sister, and she held me so close and didnt let go until I was done crying. She took care of me when I was too weak and scared to drive. She distracted me when she knew that nothing happy was going thru my mind. And tonight, she was there for me again when I broke down and couldnt hold on to a shed of light. She stood up for me when appropriate and held me when I was ready to fall. "So while I might not be able to make it better ... I can be a shoulder to cry on and a friend to veg out and eat junk food with." She openly admitted that she might not have all the answers, but even with that being the case, she wouldnt give up on me.

Its just a bonus that she happens to be fun to be around!!

Love you Kim. Glad you helped me grow up to be who I am now. Thanks for EVERYTHING!!

The Fall Post -

Since everyone has been posting about fall, I figured I would join the party.

The difference is, most people enjoy autumn because of the clothes, decorations, and flavors of drinks you can get at Jamba(kami).

For me, this time of the year is my favorite because of the traditions..

haunted houses

Bonfires/Campfires





Thanksgiving

Indoor fun

Rain activities <3



And much, much more....

(such as the lake house, which is gone now..boo)

All these traditions have something in common about them tho... they are all with people I hold closest to my heart.

Its gonna be a hard season without my boys

I miss you all

Pics That Get Right to the Heart -

Its these kind of pictures and moments that make me tear up a little....

I'm so glad you are home with your kids Mike. You all deserve to be happy together <3