A Ray of Sunshine -

When everything seems to be heading down hill, all we need to do is look up and find that ray of sunshine.

There are things in life that are so horrible...

Kids taking their lives.

Kids getting their lives taken from them.

Young people being robbed of their youth.

Kids watching their parents suffer.

Boys being blamed for something a girl just feels ashamed of doing herself.

An old man forgetting how to put his garments on correctly.

But just when you think there is no light in the world...

You make a new friend.

You do something that you've always wanted to do but were too scared.

You learn that you are loved.

The sun sets just right.

You learn you are beautiful even without getting ready.

You go to a jazz game against the lakers.

You get to spend a month with a family you love.

The positives may seem smaller than the negatives... but if you look hard enough, you'll find that there are more + than there are -

Everything around me seemed kinda dark.. I went and talked it thru with Madison.. and then I have this one person that showed up unannounced and made me see the light in the world. And after everything was made perfect, I look down and notice that it was Maddie that changed everything. She sent him. She told him what to say. And she was there in my pocket, vibrant and pink, making sure it all worked out in the end.

Its ironic that that crayon art was made for Marnie, and it was her sister that found my ray today.

(right there.. clear as day... my pink Madison bracelet is keeping me smiling)

Day Dreams -

I have this dream... a day dream that is... mostly while im driving around,

I dream of jumping on the freeway and heading to the airport

I dream of catching the FIRST flight to NY

I dream of calling Asher to pick me up

I dream of seeing him waiting for me at the terminal

I dream of running towards him

I dream of dropping my bags

I dream of leaping into his arms

I dream of giving him the greatest hug I can dish out

I dream of spending even just one day with him running errands and getting soda

But then I come to my senses and remember the two jobs I have here

Miss you, Asher.

New Years Resolutions -

I have never really made any New Years resolutions before. Even if I had, I never shared them with anyone, in fear of not succeeding.

But...

2012 may be the last year I will ever be able to do either [end of the world reference].

There is no certain order to these... just a list.

-read at least 5 Nicholas Sparks books

-write my missionaries and SEND the letters

-trust more

-forgive easier/dont hold grudges

-actually open my heart to love/dont be afraid to say it and dont try to push it away

This years theme, I stole from Kami. I figure she will be fine with it, considering we usually make our yearly[and summer] themes together.

-"It only takes 20 seconds of INSANE courage"

I've already finished one N.S. book and started my second. I sent Tragen a letter today. I trust when Jiffy Lube[captain tool cowboy] tells me that I dont need to worry about that girl and all her pictures. Haven't had to forgive anyone yet.

The last one. The love one... thats gonna be the real challenge. I'll let you know when I had 20 seconds to fulfill that.

Tattoos On This Town -

I want to start out by saying, this was quite possibly the best christmas/new years break of my life so far. I got to see tons of my friends that have left the town to go get an education elsewhere, turned 19, and reuinite with one of the greatest people I know.

After finals were finally over, I was able to arrange a trip to Elko with my mama to help with anything we could for my aunt Tarah. This was the first time I was to see that family in 4 years. Saturday, as soon as we arrived, we hit up the restuarant to see how things were going; when we stepped in, it was chaos and we all just jumped in to try and help. That was the first day I had ever waitressed, bussed, and cleaned. After several hours we sat down and finally ate... He-Bah's is seriously delicious!! I baby sat and cleaned that night while the real adults went out and had some fun. Sunday it was back to good ol' UT with Hannah (my cousin). Sunday night we went to Zoo Lights with Roxanna, Ava, Hannah, and Paityn Jean.

Monday was a day of work and work parties, then it was pack up and back to Elko for a whole week. We worked non-stop for the first 4 days I was there; washing dishes for the new restaurant.. like HUNDREDS of loads.. putting up pictures and looking for mirrors to hang. When we were home, I would clean something and then go watch movies with the kids.. they learned that I REALLY LOVE Thor. ;)

By the end of the week, I got to drive in BumbleBee TWICE, and found that me and my aunt have a lot in common, and I had missed that.

Then there was Christmas, where I got so much clothes and my favorite pair of shoes!!

 

And the day I turned 19!! Woot Woot!! This day was the greatest. Me and Kami FAILED at x-box car racing. Then I went to Melting Pot with my parents and tyler. Made it to Trafalga to laser tag (where the mean guy made a 19 year old girl cry for being 2 min late). Completely lost the first game and then jumped to FIRST PLACE for the second game. We went to Common Sense, and then finished the night watching The Notebook at Brandon's.

I went on a date with Tutor Boy the day after and saw Sherlock Holmes, where I found myself loving the movie but thoroughly disappointed that Rachel McAdams chose not to take part in it.

Went to PPT with Mikey, his friends, and Kami, Brandon, Nick, and my long lost Melissa. I missed that girl!! Me and Kami were Bad-A's and learned to back-flip off the trapeze!!

Friday, I went to the Jazz season opener, were we won 102-99.

On New Years, I had dinner at Wingers with Kami and then headed to Karoline's for the big night bash. Before people could show up, me and Kare had a flash back to 9th grade and re-made our music video for hot and cold by katy perry. We lighted off fire works for baby Nicko. Played Dance Dance on the kinect. Then finished the night real dancing at a club in Provo where we danced our hearts out and had NO NEW YEARS KISS!!!! woot woot!!

[after dancing]

Sunday I cleaned and went on a nice drive with the family around the lake.

To finish off the perfect Christmas break, on monday me, Kalin, Brandon, and Karoline went to Park City and chilled at Kalin's condo. We went swimming, and hot tubbing. Dried off in the sauna. Ate at Cafe Rio. Went back and all four of us cuddled together on the two person couch to watch Bridesmaids. Also, I got a call from Devere saying that he is finally home, and that the picture I posted of us on fb made this other girl jealous... the game.

Having my friends back for these last couple weeks has been such a blessing. I loved every minuted I spent with them. :)

Never forget what makes you FEEL - Melanie Moore style -

A forever lasting friendship

Realizing what is, is actually more

A love un-breakable

Using someone for something only you want

Taking a risk for someone not knowing their intentions

Men

Keeping someone from the light

Changing for someone

Battle from a dark place and pulling someone else into it



Over coming a death

Madison

The rise that comes after the fall

Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Temple Square -

Every year I go on a date to temple square. Its my absolute favorite date to go on (if you exclude puddle jumping and mudwrestling types where you cant exactly plan it). This year I went with Jiffy Lube/Jiff/Devere/Micheal/etc. On the way up, we screamed country songs at the top of our lungs; he even put a cowboy hat on and serenated me to Tim McGraw's Something Like That. Yup, my heart melted!! haha. When we got there we walked around holding hands like a cute wittle couple, and snapped a few pics. On the way home, I got up the nerve to ask him what we were, where we were going, and what he thought about me possibly moving. I got the perfect answers, which was just what I needed. Tonight was perfect; I've never felt more "in love".

We're pretty dang cute, right?? :)

10 Lyrics -

Warning

This post is most likely gonna have no organization to it; brace yourself.

I packed a cooler and a change of clothes, lets jump and see how far it goes,

you got my heart and your daddy's boat and we've got all night to make it float,

we could sit on a shore or we could just be friends.... or we could jump in!!

The whole world could change in a minute, just one kiss could stop it spinning... We could think it thru

But I dont want to if you dont want to

Sugarland

You got your hands up, youre rockin' in my truck, you got the radio on, youre singing EVERY song

Im set on cruise control, im slowly losing hold of everthing ive got, youre looking so damn hot

and I dont know what road we're on or where we've been from staring at you girl

all I know is I dont want this night to end!!

Luke Bryan

He said "I know that youre afraid, and I am too; but you'll never be alone I'll promise you"

When your weak, I'll be strong

When you let go, I'll hold on

When you need to cry, I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes

When you feel lose, and scared to death, like you cant take one more step

Just take my hand, together we can do it

I'm gonna love you thru it!!

And when this road gets too long, I'll be the rock you lean on

Just take my hand, together we can to this...

I'm gonna love you thru it.

Martina McBride

Here's how it goes

Boy meets girl, girl leaves boy

Thats all I know, all I've done, all my life

Cause thru out my history, I've only been with jerks who couldnt take it

But you see the picket fense, the swing on the front porch, with us two on it

When I believe that nothing lasts forever, you stay with me keeping us together

And make me feel like I never ever want to give you up

Til now, I've always been a quitter

Carrie Underwood

There's still a burn mark on that oak branch that hangs over the river

I still got the scar, from swinging out a little too far

There aint a corner of this hallowed ground, that we aint laughed or cried on

Its where we loved, lived, and learned real life stuff

Its everything we're made of

It sure left its mark on us

We sure left our mark on it

We let the world know we were here, thru everything we did

We laid a lot of memories down

Like tattoos on this town

Jason Aldean

Yeah, somedays its a bitch, its a bummer

We need a rock n' roll show in the summer

to let the music take us away, take our minds to a better place

Where we feel that sense of freedom

Leave our worries behind, we dont need them

All we need is a sunny day, and an old tailgate

and we'll escape reality

Yeah sometimes life aint all that its cracked up to be

So lets take a chance and live this fantasy

Cause everybody needs to break free from reality

Kenny Chesney

I said remember this feeling, I passed the pictures around

Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now

We are the kings and the queens, you traded your baseball cap for a crown

And they gave us our trophies, and we held them up for our town

And the cynics were outraged, screaming "this is absurd"

Cause for a moment a band of theives and ripped up jeans got to rule the world

Long live the walls that crashed thru

and how the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming long live all the magic we made

bring on all the pretenders, im not afraid

Long live all the mountains we moved

I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

I was screaming long live, that look on your face

And bring on all the pretenders one day

we will be remembered

Hold on, just spinning around

Confetti falls to the ground

May these memories break our fall

Can you take a moment, promise me this

That you'll stand by me forever, but if God forbid fate should step in

And force us into a goodbye, if you have children someday

When they point to the pictures, please tell them my name

Tell them how the crowds went wild

Tell them how I hope they shine

Taylor Swift

I remember someone old once said to me that lies will lock you up, with truth the only key

I was comfortable and warm inside my shell

I couldnt see this place could soon become my hell

So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face

I guess the answer is just dont do it in the first place

I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now

But if by chance you change your mind, you know I will not let you down

Cause we were the special two, and we'll be again.

Missy Higgins

You see the smile thats on my mouth

Its hiding the words that dont come out

All of our friends who think that I'm blessed

They dont know my head is a mess

No they dont know who I really am

And they dont know what I've been thru like you do

I was made for you

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

Oh, but these stories dont mean anything, when you've got no one to tell them to

Its true, I was made for you

Brandi Carlile

Its hard to find the perfect time to say something you know is going to change everything

Living with the shame, it aint nothing like the pain that I saw on her face

Now me and my pile of things that she threw out the window drowning next to me

No seven years ago can hide the one night I forgot to where that ring

So let it rain, let it pour if she dont love me anymore

Let it come down on me, let it come down on me

Every word, let it hurt even more than I deserve

Let if come down on me, let it come down on me

Let it rain

David Nail