We were never just friends.
We started out as best friends from the very beginning and only grew from there.
You've deflated my boob and farted in class.
Yet... somehow, youre the one i miss every second of every day.
Each day I get more anxious to see you again.
I think of how it will be seeing you again.
Akward or extatic.
Every night, when i roll onto my pillow, i think of how i jealous am of Katiniss that she has Peeta.
Yes, that reference did just happen.
Before you left, i knew that you made me most happy.
Before you left i knew that i made you happy.
I just couldnt think of how to say it without ruining our P.E.R.F.E.C.T friendship.
It was other people that had to basically yell in my face that i was stupid for being so stubborn.
I tried to find the happiness you bring me, through someone else when i couldnt have you.
It only got me hurt and made me miss and want you more.
Karoline and Kami have had earfulls of the torn emotions in my heart.
You send me these texts that make me smile the biggest smile and laugh like a giddy school girl.
We run errands together.
Just that makes me happier than any other guy has made me in my entire life.
I could be just making this all up in my head.
Sometimes i hope i am; to save the hurt.
Other times i wish more than anything to just hug you and have you kiss my forehead like only you can do.
Everytime i cruise down state street, i only think of our last week together.
When you text me "hey. im just thinking about you" it literally makes my heart skip a beat.
Maybe i wont even have you when youre back.
But if i do, i wont hold back.
Like i always seem to do.
We are glass; we may shine.
Or we may shatter, and be picking up the pieces here on after.
But what ever happens, i want us to ALWAYS be there for each other.
Just like you were the for me when my aunt got worse.
Or like you were there with me while camping and bonfires and graduation.
I daydream of testing your lips for poison while standing in the pouring rain.
I used to be able to tell you "I love you" without being afraid you would take it for than friends.
Now i cant even say it without me being tricked into thinking something more.
This is a lot of feelings.
20 seconds of insane courage makes me tell you all this.
That was the theme of the year for me and Kami.
Im Katniss.
Not Kami.
Or you.
Also, Kami told me she is in control of my love life now and made me post this to the public.
Life as her cousin is a rollercoaster.
But who doesnt love a good ride.
