You

The only time I have ever liked the taste of beer, was when I would kiss it off of your lips.

Given the Chance -

Lets be clear, this song is completely retarded. No woman needs a man to live.
But we sometimes want one.
Sometimes when we lose one, we feel like we arent living to our full happy potential.

I should have just called it like i saw it. I should have just called for help, and ran like hell that day. The burn and the sting and the high and the heat and the left-me-wanting-more-feeling when he kissed me. I should have just called him whiskey. Now the numb has set in; he's gone like the wind, and i can barely feel the pain.

I knew youre heart was already stolen.. I figured it out myself. Thats the day i should have ran. I was just wishing i had a chance still.... but i never did; from the moment you laid eyes on my smile, we were destined to be a mess.
She is lucky, you know... That she has all your love.
But just like i never had a chance, neither did you. She never had the chance to break your heart, or make things happen. She ruined you this way. She will forever be perfect in your eyes, because she has never done anything to truly hurt you.

You have waited for four years. Four. Thats what motivates me to get out of bed. To keep my eyes on the road. To put on that god-awful fake smile that i hate. Cause now, i am right where you are.

I hope you get her one day. I really do. If not for you to finally be happy, then for me to actually get my shot....

You got a cousin whose telling you something that doesnt have nothing to do with the loving that we're in, baby.I hear she's saying this game we're playing should be complicated; if you wont, ill say it, i think she's crazy. Cause love dont have to be a bunch of drama, bunch of knocked-down, drag-outs crying in the rain. Its alright to keep it light now mama dont you think? And we're having such a good time together, and its only just begun. My hearts never smiled so hard baby. Loving you is fun.

You made me go from feeling as happy as that, to this...

I could tell that it was over when her lips met mine. there was an emptiness in her voice, hestation when she smiled. She didnt have to say a word, it was just so plain to see........ I saw goodbye in her eyes.

And yet, for me, i dont see it being over.

There are only two things i regret; opening my mouth and ruining what was a close to perfect as i was ever gonna get with you, and not kissing you goodbye. If i could go back in time, I really would change those two things. Then maybe you would talk to me...

He and I had something beautiful, but so dysfunctional, it couldnt last. I loved him so, but i let him go, cause i knew he'd never love me back. Such pain as this shouldnt have to be experienced. Im still realling from the loss, still a little bit delirious.

Everything thing i see, hear, smell, and even feel makes me want to be with you. I want to trace your farmer's tan around those big arms. I want to take in the meaning of those three beautiful tattoos. I want to kiss those yummy lips, squeeze that cute bum, play with your hair, be tickled by you, and cuddle with you. Even the day that i over-reacted and ruined everything, I still just wanted to be in your arms. Its hard to be strong right now. Its hard to be "just friends"... cause i want to tell you everything about my day. I want to show you the things that make my heart smile. (I have said this before in a blog post... But) i have a habit of falling for friends. So, yeah, we can be "just friends" but just know, that wont stop anything.

Loving him is like driving a new maserati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.
 Loving him is like trying to change your mind once youre already flying thru the freefall.
 Like the colors in autumn so bright, just before they lose it all.
Losing him was blue like i've never known.
Missing him was dark grey, all alone.
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met.
But loving him was red.
Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you.
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song.
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there is no right answer.
Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong.
Losing him was blue like i've never known.
Missing him was dark grey, all alone.
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met.
But loving him was red.
Burning red.
Remembering him comes in flashbacks.
In echoes.
Tell myself its time now.
Gotta let go.
But moving on from him is impossible and i still see it all in my head.
Burning red.

So whats the secret to getting over you??

If you made it through this whole thing, I guess this is my way of asking for help. I dont know how else to tell people that it is a fake smile.




I realize i am being a girl... but he likes girls.

Until Finals

I could cry right now. I have spent days upon days doing homework and getting ready for finals.

Everything is complete as of right now, and I still have a week left.

I've never been so proud of myself. I worked my butt off this semester, and I really hope that my grades show it.



Relax.