It Gets Better -

Something happened today. Something that is gonna make peoples lives hard for the next while. A beautiful woman took her life. A friend from back when no one had any cares; early junior high.

Some people get on the wrong path and cant get themselves back.. but this wasnt Syd. Syd came back. She was an amazing person.

I havent seen or talked to her in many years. Im not trying to make people think that im one of those "fake" friends that pretends to care only after the person is gone.

It does hurt my cousin tho. They danced together for many years. They were friends always. So, it hurts me because i know that she is hurting.

Something happened today. Something that i will never be able to understand. A selfish act; one that makes you realize just how selfish you, yourself, have been. We are all wrapped up in our own lives that we cant recognize when someone is in need.

"But she always seemed so happy" - Thats what i have heard everyone say so far today, including myself. Thats what hit me. We need to go out of our way to make sure the people we love and care about are truly happy; not just seem happy.

My friends are hurting now, because their friend hurt bad enough to take her own life. I just ask you this one thing, if youre hurting, talk to me, or anyone for that matter. I love and care about you. I never want to imagine any of you not being with me.

You dont have to be strong all the time. You just have to be strong enough to ask for help.

I love you all.

And Syd. I know you were loved are loved. I feel so sorry that you hurt so bad. I only hope that it is gone now, the pain. I hope you will guide your friends here on earth and be with them now, because i know they are going to need you.

Lists

"not every workout has to be your best work out." - mark.

I have to tell myself this quote so often lately. Im feeling weak. My red blood cell count is lower than most peoples' (because i dont eat meat and im a girl), which means that oxygen isnt being carried as much as it should be.

I know that is just an excuse, cause i can change it... just take iron pills.
so. thats what this post is about; change.

• take iron pills
• keep a workout journal
• keep a workout journal for my mom
• check canvas everyday
• read more of my text books
• keeping my room clean (not just the kitchen)
• accept more dates
• go out with friends more often
• wake up early for class everyday
• control my anger issues

I need to get ahold of myself again. Get back on track. Make some changes while i do so.

Wish me luck :)