Leadership -

~Congratulations!! You have been nominated to take part in the International Scholar Laureate Program (ISLP) Student Delegation on Diplomacy and International Relations in China this coming June 2012.~

Today, in the mail, I got a letter from International Scholar Laureate inviting me to attend the college version of NYLF (National Youth Leadership Forum) that I was nominated for in high school.

This is the 3rd invitation I have received since high school; first from NYLF, then the Global version (which I didnt attend), and now the International/college version. The fact that less than 1% of students get the opportunity to attend these educational vacations, just fills me up with such happiness and a little lot of pride in myself. To be nominated for the first one (cause the second one comes just because you went to the first one) a teacher has to think so highly of you that you were his/her vote. I never found out which teacher it was that got me into these programs, but I am forever grateful to whoever it was.

name tag from NYLF

These educational vacations are ones that you take alone and are able to go out into the world and learn and experience how to become a world-class leader in life. When I went as a sophmore in highschool, I was scared and shy while waiting in the airport lobby with all my peers. By the end of that week, I had life long friends and a greater love and understanding of our (the US) government and where we came from.

Taking this trip to China would mean that I'm not going to be able to travel and visit family like I was planning, but it would do wonders for my brain and resume. All in all, I am super excited for even the opportunity to make a choice to go or not.

-how was meeting my nerdy side??-

I Still Miss You...

Tonight I spent with Mother Dearest (Paige) and my best friend Marnie. Paige had told me about hers and Marns plans to head up to the Park City outlets to shop when I was dropping off some flowers for her. Then later tonight I got a call from Marnie, who invited me to join the two of them on this fun extravaganza. These two women are two of the most important people in my life. Every time I am with them I feel a sense of security and I feel safe. Another thing I love when being around them, is Madison is ALWAYS with them, so I feel her around too.

Madison died a year and a month ago on Oct. 7th of 2010. I only had known her for a year and a half, but she was always fun to be around; she was always making me laugh and smile. When she was hit, I was in the ER. I heard the entire call between the paramedic and the head nurse that morning. Even though she didnt end up coming to the hospital I was interning at, finding out that that call was about my best friend's little sister who had later died, surely left a mark. Needless to say, the "what if"s caught up to me and just made things worse. I found a song a while ago that really just explains what I went and still kinda go through; I Still Miss You by Keith Anderson.

I've talked to friends

talked to myself

I've talked to God

I've prayed like Hell

but I still miss you.

I've tried sober

I've tried drinkin'

I've been strong

and I've been weak

and I still miss you.

I've done everthing to move on like I'm supposed to

but I still miss you.

I really have tried all of it, and the pain never goes away. Marnie and Paige are both individuals that I look up to with everything I have. I love them SO much and I dont even think they realize it. They make such the difference in my life, and probably even have the most influence on me too. They are so strong even when everyone would understand if they broke down. They're perfect in my eyes.

Love you Marnie-kins. Love you Mother Dearest. Love you Maddie babe. Today was a great day spent with the three of you. Thanks for letting me share it with you. <3

The 3 PERFECT moments

In my life, I can think of three seperate memories, that involve men, that were the most perfect moments.

one.

Back in the 10th grade, I was nominated to attend National Youth Leadership Forum in Washington DC. It was just me; there was no family, nor any friends going with me. So when I got there I knew that I had to make friends. The main boys(you know, since I dont get along with girls as easy lol) that I hung out with were Eric, Chris, and Justin. Eric was the most flirtatious, but not exactly my type. Chris was the one I was interested in; he was super cute, plays the bass in a band and was given a scholarship to some art school for that talent. And lastely, Justin was the super attractive but super player kind of guy we all know. 

Now that you know the background story, I can tell you the perfect moment with Justin.

The last couple days of the trip, I got sick (didnt know til I got home, that is was H1N1). On the plane ride back, me and Justin realized we had the same flight, so we asked the lady sitting next to me to trade him seats; which she did, and that was super nice of her. It was set to be a super long flight, and Justin told me if that if I got tired, I could lean on him and sleep. So halfway thru the flight, I took advantage of that offer and laid in his lap. Half asleep and super sick, I just sat there in silence. Justin being the hot guy that I didnt think I would ever have, put one hand on my hip and one "caressing" my head. He ended up getting sick too with swine the next day, but he told me it was worth every cough, sneeze, and runny nose. Maybe this was perfect cause I didnt feel alone like I did going there. Maybe it was perfect cause I was sick. Anyway you put it tho, it was P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

two.

About a year and a half ago, me, my parents, and tyler all went on a road trip to florida to jump on a cruise ship. They had a "club" for teens called the O2 club. There was a meet and greet that me and tyler had missed on the very first day during the afternoon. When we went the first night, no one was dancing, but everyone seemed to know eachother.. So I felt pretty stupid. But Travis Martin came about and just kinda welcomed me and Ty to the crew. After a week of dancing and swimming and all that jazz you do on the cruise, we knew everyone, and we all got along great. The very last night around 1:30AM I went to my room to sleep cause we were getting up at 6 to leave. Around 2AM tho, EVERYONE (except for my own brother and a couple girls haha) showed up to my room. We all talked and said our goodbyes except for Kyleigh Sikora (my best friend on the cruise) and Matt (the sexy guy from england with the sexy english accent). Kyleigh was laying in Tylers bed and Matt and me in mine. We all three talked til about 4AM when Ky went back to her room. Me and England fell asleep on my bed with his arm wrapped around my hip. We woke up at five and he went to his room. There was no kiss, no sex, no anything; which could have been the reason it was so PERFECT, because it was straight up spooning.

Three.

My junior prom was with a guy that I look back now that realize how in love I really was with him. His name is Taz Wilcock. He was 21 and only going to prom cause his sister was my best friend at the time and conviced him to take me (we had been dating before this, but ya know. what 21 year old wants to go to prom??) So we get all dressed and go to dinner. In the beginning I was kinda acting like we were just friends, but he assured me that he was going to act as if we were the most in love couple in the world. After dinner we went to take pictures. When we took them I told Taz that I didnt want one of the suggested pictures they have hanging, so we made our own. After the picture was taken, we were walking back to our friends when he swooped me up in front of all our friends and strangers and spun me around, kissed me on my forehead and put me back down so we could do the group pictures. Later that night, we didnt actually make it to prom, instead we went to our friends concert in Provo. We danced our hearts out there. When we left we all decided to hit up the water towers and look at the view. Me and Taz were the only ones to get out of the car and sit on the bench. We just sat there and cuddled talking about life. Around 1AM we dicided to get back in the car, but before I stood up, I just sat there and looked at him... and that is when he leaned in and kissed me. This whole night will always be on my tops list of favorite memories.

If all I had were these memories, I think I would still get by with a smile on my face at all times. Im just lucky that my life is FULL of fun times to remember!